A Key to Hillary?

Grandville_tortoiseLast night when David kissed me goodnight he said, “I’ve decided to work in Hillary’s campaign.”  I had been encouraging him to do this, offering to drive him there and retrieve him.

You see David is the extrovert in our marriage.  I am the introvert.  That’s why I think I understand Hillary, I believe she is an introvert.

David worked in Hillary’s campaign in 2008 and was terribly upset when she didn’t get the nomination.  We knew then she was the best qualified candidate.  But Hillary isn’t great at making speeches and shaking hands, Bill is the extrovert.

Extroverts rule the world and can be very intolerant of introverts. Introverts would rather read a book than attend, or, God forbid, hostess a party. Why can’t you be warm and friendly? extroverts often say. Why are you so secretive? But the more they beat on the tortoise shell, the further she withdraws (yes, the tortoise who won the race was a female).

Opposites attract, so many an extrovert marries an introvert.  However, extroverts outnumber introverts 10 to 1, so most marriages are between extroverts.

In the 1980s and 1990s, I traveled everywhere in the United States and several places overseas. Most of the trips involved speech-making.  I addressed business groups from Richmond VA to Dayton Ohio, and from New York City to San Diego. I even testified before Congress at one point.

Making it in this world as an introvert was tough. Making all those speeches was terrifying. Besides most of the business groups consisted of men, and often they weren’t in your corner.

For example, I  once addressed the managers (a sea of men) of New Jersey Bell at Seabrook, NJ. The CEO sat slumped in the front row wearing Bermuda shorts with his legs spread apart and yawned. He yawned every time I looked his way.  But I didn’t lose it. Yes, he had heard the speech, it was the updated version of the one I prepared for my boss the year before. But demography changes glacially. Besides, the speech wasn’t for him, it was for all his new managers who were trying to understand demographics. As Time magazine put it on one of their covers in the 1980s, demographics was the “hot new branch of economics.”

But I was an introvert, so speech-making was painful, very painful.

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test several times and it seems I am an INTJ.  A book entitled Please Understand Me explains the test and what the various personality combinations mean.  INTJs are extremely introverted, and very rare.  Female INTJs are even more rare.  Thus very few people understand them.  Most scientists are INTJs. Most teachers are not. Most people who become politicians, actors or journalists, or who enter other “outgoing” occupations are extroverts.  Extroverts rule.  Introverts are bullied. Usually for acting like introverts.  So they often pretend to be extroverted.  But then they are accused of being secretive and duplicitous. But their duplicity is a shell. Underneath is a caring heart.

Read Six Decades and Counting  (link in sidebar) today.  Wonderful post.

24 thoughts on “A Key to Hillary?

  1. So then why do you think she went into politics? It would seem like those speeches must be horrible to her — i guess it proves that she really really isn’t a quitter and that she believes in herself. (I pray that her quest succeeds, don’t get me wrong. Please please please let her win. I am so afraid of what will happen if she does not, and I do believe she is highly qualified. And thanks to David for volunteering.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think Bill was probably behind her decision to enter politics. He is the political animal. She has a strong Methodist background and like my Mom who was also a Methodist, she fights for those she feels are oppressed.

      You might recall it was Methodists (and Quakers) who first complained about slavery and conditions in the factories in Manchester (I believe a Methodist wrote ‘Amazing Grace’).

      Methodism was the religion of the downtrodden here and in England. The old time circuit riders who carried the gospel to the frontier were Methodist. Have you ever read Adam Bede by Mary Anne Evans (George Elliot)?

      It breaks my heart that the very people the Democrats have helped are now so in love with Trump. Talk about brain washing.
      At least Richard Trumpka (AFL-CIO) is working for Hillary.

      Liked by 1 person

      • i have read Adam Bede, but a long time ago, and I’m off to Amazon to look for it on kindle. Thank you for this helpful and thoughtful reply … and i also learned a lot from all of your comments and replies.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for the link to my blog post…I am an introvert and always hated mingling at parties and business meetings. But I learned to give seminars without panicking.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Give me an audience and I will talk. I don’t even need a microphone because I have one of those teacher voices. I talk to everyone, asking questions, telling stories. Terry says that people aren’t just standing around waiting to hear one of my stories. But, if you’re standing around, I might just tell you one anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I came out an INFJ, not common either. I got so I could comfortably do work presentations and was a trainer at one time for a software program I managed. I like who am though and am comfortable with myself. It takes me a day to recover from our family weekly potluck dinners though. Fortunately, living in a tiny condo, it is never at my house. 🙂 Sometimes I skip it. They are all used to me now and it runs in my side of the family. My original family were nearly all introverts. Very quiet bookish household. Now the kids are still quiet but sewn to their phones. Still some die hard readers though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I like myself too. I am what I am. Yes, we introverts adapt. Kind of like being left-handed in a right-handed world. My mom was left-handed and in her youth teachers wanted kids to conform. They beat on her until she learned how to write Left-handed.

      When she discovered my brother was left-handed, she fought the system and won. So he was spared the ill treatment. She was voted in as president of the city-wide PTA.

      We were all near-sighted also, coke bottle glasses back then. I have lens implants today.
      My kids laugh at me because I can only take their visits for a short while. Phone calls are also short. I hate talking on the phone, and I worked for MaBell. Communicate by text and FB with grandkids.
      PS yes, those IN people are loners naturally. F people are often artists. David is an ENFP.


  5. Your post describes my husband to a tee. He is an introvert who was bullied in his own family growing up. Extrovert parents often think there is something wrong with there introvert child. They can’t relate at all. His father teased him mercilessly which my husband always resented.

    I am more extroverted but having been an only child for almost five years, I have introverted qualities as well. My husband and I have always gotten along well and understand each other I think. We have a lifestyle that suits us both.

    Thank you for hightlighting the personality traits which are such a big part of how we interact with the world and others.


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