Solving problems a day at a time

The past few days, I assessed the situation in my garden and reviewed my spring orders so as to reconnoiter what goes where.  I discovered I had double ordered a few items.  I can squeeze some of the double orders into existing pots, with David’s help, and will give the rest to Kathy. The Oregano, Sage, and one of the Rosemary plants I left in pots to overwinter next to a south-facing wall appear to have made it through the winter.  I have ordered  replacement herbs for those that died, such as Parsley and Basil. The fellows who helped me last fall tossed out my Chives, but Kathy says she will give me some Chives and Scallion sets.  So, I’m ready for planting.

In recent months I have been learning more about using fresh herbs in cooking.  I have a cupboard full of dried herbs and spices but love fresh herbs best. I won’t produce cumin or saffron, but I can grow many of the herbs we love.


Concerned about how we would pay for the dogs dental bills this month, I discovered I had not included a deposit David made in February. Or rather, I forgot to include the deposit in the paper records I keep of our household accounts.  I’m fairly certain it is in the bank.

I wanted to verify this.

I keep my bank account in pretty good order, but the joint account David has managed until now is a big fat mess. I asked him for the bank information so I could print out the online statement, but he had difficulty providing me the information.

I tried the first address he offered and ended up on a site for a west coast bank we don’t use.  He finally gave me the correct address, but the wrong information for accessing the joint account (in both names). After several attempts, we locked ourselves out of the account.  Tomorrow we will get this mess straightened out with the branch bank up the street. The short version of the story: I think I have enough money in the account to cover the dog’s dental bills.


Lately, I’ve been paying all the bills except a few David still handles from his account.  He’s had tremendous difficulty giving me control of the joint account which we mostly use to pay car and house insurance, newspaper, and utility bills.  One of the bills he still handles from his account is the AOL bill we’ve had for 20 years.  I pay the Verizon bill from my account (covers TV, computers, and phones).

Yesterday, locked out of AOL (he was not) I could not access my mail.  After a squabble with David about the cause, he finally located the telephone number and we called AOL and straightened out the mess.

Slowly I am taking charge of all the joint bills, not because I want to, but because I have to.  I refuse to become one of those wives who doesn’t know what’s going on if her husband predeceases her.  Given he’s almost 86 and I’m almost 73, and women outlive men, this seems pragmatic. He agrees, but has difficulty accepting it.


Last year's now defunct Basil

Last year’s now defunct Basil


7 thoughts on “Solving problems a day at a time

    • You put your finger on the problem. The situation is complex because I’ve always been a bit absent minded ( husband #1 told me he thought I would float off someday because I “thought” to much). David is now losing chunks of memory and I’m running in place to keep up. His resistance to believing our reality makes it doubly hard.


    • Thanks Freda. David retains access to the joint account and is a correspondent on my accounts as I am on his. The struggle is over automatic bill paying via the Internet. I feel this way we never forget to pay a bill. However, at the end of the month, I need reconcile the account and make sure all bills have been paid. It’s also complicated because David has never been a detail oriented person and now, in addition, he can’t remember many things.


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