Love Affair

Cover of "An Affair To Remember (50th Ann...

Cover via Amazon

David was very kind and sat up with me until midnight watching the Cary Grant movie Love Affair to Remember on PBS last night. Of course I have seen the film nineteen times, along with Sleepless in Seattle.  A great pair of movies, I doubt there is a woman anywhere who hasn’t seen both of them multiple times. I don’t know her anyway.

Love Affair makes me sad because I was young, innocent, and a romantic teen, the first saw it on the big screen in my little Southern town. The story, set in glamorous New York City…the big city to us small town kids…was one of those films from the fifties that made us long for the larger world.  

To escape into the larger world, I spent far too much time in the years following with the wrong sorts of men.  In those days, many of us girls believed men were the only ticket out of a narrow life. 

David in turn spent too much time with the wrong women, but he led a glamorous life, traveling in Europe and living there for years. No he wasn’t a playboy, he was a NATO contractor. 

David and I eventually found each other. Some of us must wait a half a lifetime to find our soul mate. Sometimes I envy those lucky few who found it immediately.


I asked my granddaughter, who has received a proposal of marriage recently, if she loved the boy. I told her marriage is difficult enough but if you don’t love each other its hell. Furthermore, as they are both poor, marriage would be doubly hard if she has children. In addition, although she is educated, he is not. As he is a working class kid, I don’t see any great fortune coming their way to ease the burdens of poverty either.  

She had no answer, but she is one who seldom reveals her feelings, thus her non-answer means nothing. She told me she told him to ask her again in six months.  When I saw them together at Christmas, I could tell he liked her quite a lot and she seemed happy with him.  After all, he braved meeting the parents and grandparents.

Throughout the evening I noticed him sneaking sideways glances at me. While my daughter and her husband appear pussycats as does David, I suppose I am a fearsome creäture. My intuition is quite strong, however, and I felt he was a good kid who did indeed care for my granddaughter.  Is this true love? I don’t know.  Only they can answer that question. Whether you should marry your true love is another question.                                                               —000—

When I was in love with you,

Then I was clean and brave and true,

And miles around the wonder grew,

How well did I behave.

But now the fancy passes by

And nothing does remain,

and miles around the people say

I am myself again.





12 thoughts on “Love Affair

  1. I made a list of what I wanted in a man when I was dating. Every guy had one quality that I loved but the whole package? No. When I met Terry, I realized he had every quality on that list, so when he asked me to marry him, 38 years ago, I knew he was the only guy I would ever love. It was him or no one. One quality that I tell every young girl to look for in a man is the ability to have fun with little or no money. If you can’t have fun, the marriage won’t last.


  2. As a true cynic I say that true love for the long run is pretty much non existent. We fall in love, fall in lust; once the honeymoon is over other things become important: compatibility, a shared sense of humour, similar interests and education, tolerance, etc. Love becomes genuine liking. If a couple can achieve that they’re winning.

    I like my husband very much, I even say I love him, but it’s completely different from the ‘first careless rapture’ of the early days.

    Nothing is ever guaranteed.


  3. I’m a firm believer in not marry too young– and by “young” I mean at least over 30. I think both people in the relationship should have time to grow into the adult they want to become, experience full-time employment and independent living, and learned a bit about themselves before they try to figure out a relationship. That said, I also believe in soul mates and love at first sight… as long as the “first sight” lasts a number of years to really get to know the other.


  4. Told my granddaughter that I thought she was making a mistake,.They had known each other since 1st grade but she was in the gifted program and he was in SDL. ,She said she loved him and he loved her,I said that wasn’t enough. Sadly I was right and couple of years later they parted .


  5. To be perfectly honest, I was madly in love with someone else at first. I opted not to stay with that relationship because I didn’t think it would work out in the long haul. Art was so very responsible, caring, good, and sensible. He loved me and I went with that because I liked him so much. Very quickly the like turned to love and it’s been 40 years. And it’s been wonderful.


  6. I don’t believe in one true love. If I had never gone to South Africa, I would never have met the Hub. If I had never met him, would I have married someone else and been unhappy? Yes, probably, the marriage; no to the being unhappy, because I know marriage is hard work, no matter how much love or how true it is.

    I am better educated than my husband but he is one of the smartest men I know. We’ve had money in our marriage; we don’t have it at the moment. That should be the least of her concerns.


  7. Now that your grands are older, which is harder, watching children or grandchildren navigating the rapids of romance? Mine are little yet, but signs are that oldest grandson, 10, is on the edge of acknowledging that not all girls have cooties. And I am convinced his 7-year-old sister was born a teenager.


  8. Love here is as good as it gets. It took me ten years to get over my insanity of the first one….who is now dying of cancer. Sometimes living with G is grand, other times empty. Still, after 30 years G is of pretty good value as far as I am concerned. Please tell David that he is not alone. I too was overwhelmed by the cold. I’m going to schedule a new hip after the big AA convention and Comic Con. I can do both those in a chair. Without crying like I too did a week ago.


  9. Haha, cute, Al. As for me, I don’t believe in romantic love. Most of the time, it turns out to be an infatuation that does not withstand the test of time. I married David, because he and I were classical musicians and studied music in college. In fact, we met at a music rehearsal and he began taking me home after weekly rehearsals. Do you know how difficult it is to find boyfriends who like classical music and are willing to accompany you to the opera and still understand the theory and history of music? Very difficult. Also, I found he was a good person who shared my values. So, romance? No. But, we have now been married for almost 33 years.


  10. I’m one of those lucky ones who found his true love early on. We’ll be married 45 years in April.

    When we got married, I told her we should try it for 45 years and if it worked out, we could stay married. I’ve already decided to stay for the long haul. She hasn’t made her decision yet.


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