My secret life

I am amazed at how forthcoming some individuals are about their lives. Sometimes, I think it is because they have lived perfect lives, with perfect parents and spouses. If so, I envy them.  

After I had been writing a blog for a while, I realized that although I had lived a complicated life, I could never reveal many of my life experiences.

Some of my relatives are not perfect and never were, but it’s not my place to judge them or to write revelatory essays about them. Better you should think I came from a perfect background and everything went my way.

I don’t write about my imperfect life because I hate pity.  Also, I stopped feeling like a victim years ago, and have been much happier since then.

The reasons for my secretiveness are many. 

1/ Much of what I could tell involves another person. Thus I don’t own it. For example, I could write about my brother, but I must think of his children. The most I can tell you is that the last time he visited me, he got into an argument with my neighbor over agricultural subsidies in Nebraska.

2/ Long diatribes about events in the past are boring. I wrote about my parents when I began blogging but nothing I wrote bears repeating. My parents were my parents, and although I wish many things had been different, they weren’t.  I don’t regret the past, but it made me crazy for much of my young adulthood.

3/ Negative stuff upsets my children. I don’t write about politics because my relatives are all over the place on politics.  I think the myriad selection of political views has led me to become more tolerant.  Besides, this time around, I promised my cousin Kenny we would never argue about politics again. Ditto my sister. And I am sorry I sent you the photo of the dog peeing on the Bush yard sign. I really think he is a great guy. 

4/ Sometimes I write about religion, but not often. A few years back, I supported Wiccans when they petitioned the VA to allow pentagrams on tombstones (they won).  Yes, there are Wiccan soldiers.  I am tolerant of all religions as long as they don’t use their religion to harm others. 

5/ Sometimes I write about environmental issues, but I don’t join forces with extremists of any persuasion, not even green extremists.  I sent $$ to Greenpeace and the Sierra Club for years, and then dropped back to support the National Wildlife Federation and other middle-of-the-road environmental groups involved with education.

6/ Although I am an animal lover, I am not “nuts” on the subject. I hate dog-fighting and puppy mills, but am not into confiscating exotic pets bred here in the US, in order to stop their spread in the American outdoors (illegally imported animals are a different story). 

I have participated in letter-writing on many occasions. Two come to mind:

 a) When the Congresswoman from Guam introduced legislation that would block the exchange of ‘exotic’ snakes by snake collectors anywhere in the US;  Yes, I know Guam has a brown snake problem.  

b) When some misguided folks in the northeast tried to have legislation passed that would have made the ownership of  certain kinds of parrots illegal. Fat chance that law could have been enforced anyway. The goal was to keep the birds out of the state (many states already ban this parrot), but there were already thousands of these parrots in the US, many in feral colonies

Can you picture a sheriff standing at the state border, stopping illegal parrots? Or a sheriff rounding up a gang of parrots who had occupied a tree or telephone pole?  

The point here is that I don’t get on a political-legal band-wagon very often, and would probably bore you if i wrote about it.

This post is long enough but I am stopping here because I have to take my illegal parrot to the vet.  I could list many more reasons for not “revealing all” however.




14 thoughts on “My secret life

  1. There is much I don’t write about either. I prefer writing about those parts of my life that were/are happy or that I learned from. My kids would prefer I not reveal too much to the world. I usually get an OK from them first before I write.


  2. I hear what you’re saying regarding talking about family. Our connection with others is so interpersonal, and it’s hard to talk about one’s own life without talking about another’s. Some stories just cannot be told, because you’re telling someone else’s. Granted, I sometimes mention family in my blog posts, but I don’t want to get too deep where it’s more about their stories and less about mine. But that line can be blurry sometimes!


  3. I do so get such pleasure out of your well-written and succinct bits of history and opinion. Like Marcia, I especially get a kick out of the way you punctuate your points with observations that include characters such as peeing dogs and stalwart, parrot-wrangling officers of the law. Even your response about “appropriate amount of remorse” had me grinning idiotically. You and Marcia are better than a visit to some highly paid mental health pro.


  4. I understand and agree with your point of view, but as long as names, dates and serial numbers are omitted, it is hard not to write about what we know, care about and feel strongly about. And, for better or worse, that is often our family. My hub’s family is similar to yours – all over the map. We do not discuss religion, politics, politicians, any political issues or current events – but that does not leave much to talk about! Anything interesting, that is…


  5. Yeah, I agree that long diatribes are boring, but gotta spill the beans about my hubby, who sometimes (no, often) is a fool. He reads my blog daily and then calls me to dispute my claims. But, guess what, it lights a fire under his butt and he does something about it. For example, when my blog mentioned his foolish refusal to get his doctor to inject his knees, he decided to contact his doctor about it.


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