No, I don’t want to do another workshop

JoAnn writes:

 Sounds like an interesting trip and you’re trying to realistically consider the pros and cons. The years I would have enjoyed some of these trips we were no longer able, even here in U.S. Didn’t feel right going — even to Hawaii — when husband couldn’t, given the elevation at Volcano on the Big Island. Much younger friend has taken hiking trips all over Europe though her husband wasn’t able to go — he urged her to go ahead, so she did. My husband told me to go, too, — maybe I should have.

Well, David cannot be budged, so no cruise for him.  He says we can’t go off and leave the dogs for 2 weeks. He doesn’t want me to board them.  I suggested we might get Connie to take them, as she cares for other  dogs at her farm, but our dogs would probably come home with fleas and ticks because Connie lets some of her dogs wander in the woods…and if one dog wanders, he brings fleas and ticks home to the other dogs. Oh yes, our dogs are “insured” with Sentinel and Frontline, but they could still manage to get something…you know dogs.

So next I suggested that I simply board them as we have done for other occasions when we were away. NO he says, he doesn’t want them to die of loneliness.  He means he would die of loneliness.  So then I said Dogs are allowed in France and a few other places, although I think England sill quarantines every dog entering the country, so that wouldn’t work. 

David’s pal Mel (age 87) who lives up the street refuses to go into a retirement home because he would have to leave his dog. Mel fell down his steps last September, and was in a cast this winter and both his daughter the nurse and his daughter the social worker tried to get him to move.  NO WAY said Mel. He and David walk their dogs almost every day and meet up in the street.  

David simply does not want to go anywhere except around the block with the dogs.  His days of traveling are over. I mentioned  to him last week, that Garden Week in Virginia is upon us and I would like to visit some of the private gardens open at this time of the year, but he is not interested.  I am having problems galore with seasonal allergies because everything is blooming at once, and we haven’t had rain in weeks, so it is probably just as well. 

I suppose when you have traveled and lived in many places as David has and are as old as he, the thought of leaving your own bed for another bed far away is not appealing. One with potential bed bugs is even less appealing.

David says as I am so much younger than he I should consider taking a trip on my own.  In the past, I have done this more than once, because he has disliked traveling for a very long time. And like the country and western song, “I’ve been everywhere.”  For once, I wanted to travel with him, you know… a romantic interlude.  His response is “I’m scared.” 

I knew he hated traveling many years ago, but I talked him into making various trips, and he was miserable. He suffers from claustrophobia and has a fear of flying, although once upon a time, he had a pilot’s license. But he was young and crazy then and looked like Ernest Hemingway, and drank too much. Now he’s old and bald and has bruises from the Plavix he takes for his blood.

He came back from the hospital this morning with yet another patch covering the shot the doctor gave him for his knee.  He has the patches from his shoulder last week and his hip the week before.  They don’t come off easily he says.  

I haven’t traveled on my own in over 10 years.  The last time I was in Europe I was in my late 50s. The thought of going somewhere on my own now is daunting and makes me sad, but I am thinking about it seriously.


I’m in a grumpy mood.  Earlier today, I had computer problems.  Then I finally logged on and found my professor had sent my graded paper from last week…an A-. I am disappointed.  The professor said the discussion I led last week could have been stronger.  He says I should have talked more about Europe.  But Europe was mentioned exactly once in the book, when the author discusses the term Bourgeoisie.  I covered that concept in class, but with two of us leading (Paul and me), I didn’t have control over the discussion either.  Grrrrr.  I am ready for this class to end.  He probably won’t like my long paper either.   


    While I was waiting for AOL to fix the Internet connection, I read a couple of the past blog entries I had saved on my hard disk for some reason.  They were awful and I deleted them.  Once upon a time, I wrote well, but years of writing in a corporate setting or for the government seem to have ruined me. This has not been the best day in a while.  Message below from my pal Sandy who once traveled alone to Russia without her husband:



10 thoughts on “No, I don’t want to do another workshop

  1. I guess I can relate to David not wanting to leave the pets. I solved that by having a sitter come to my home a couple times a day to care for the animals. That way they are in familiar surroundings and it is less stressful.
    Good luck with the grade. I tried to argue a grade once with complete justification and failed. Some professors do not like to be proven they are wrong.


  2. What’s wrong with an A-? Good enough for me!

    If your husband doesn’t want to go, why don’t you travel with a relative or good friend? That’s what I would do. My sister-in-law traveled from Hawaii to Virginia with her 30-year-old son. They had a lovely time.


  3. I am so sorry. He doesn’t feel well, and he wants the comforts of home. Can you call his doctor? He’s more than depressed.

    If you change your mind and decide to come here, I’ll keep you busy one day and not bored.

    So take that paper back and argue just that….mentioned once in the book. It’s a really valid argument. The poem was a success. So much so that I’m submitting it to a contest. Some days are better than others.


  4. My mother traveled via organized trips with a friend as a roommate for years after my father died. I am not sure I would. My husband has always been the catalyst for my traveling. He gives me the confidence to explore and enjoy unfamiliar territory and experiences. Maybe you will travel with a globetrotting granddaughter!


    • I traveled with my youngest son and it was a mixed experience. He wanted to go out on his own at night to the pubs and I did not. On the other hand, he met a curator for a small museum who gave us a private tour and I saw a Rembrandt I would not have otherwise seen.


  5. Dogs can come in to the UK now without quarantine if they have passports.

    Come alone or with David and the dogs, but don’t dare come to the UK without visiting me!


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